Submarining: what is it? Easily explained

Have you ever heard the term submarining and you don't know what it is? It is a dating trend. You can read the exact explanation in our tip.

Submarining - when an old date suddenly reappears

If you are surprised by an unexpected message from an old contact on a dating exchange, you are likely to be a victim of submarining.

• Submarining is a term from the dating world. It is derived from the English word "submarine" for "submarine".
• The expression describes a behavior that occurs frequently in dating portals quite well: after a long pause in broadcasting, you receive an unexpected message from an old contact.
• If you have not heard or read from a dating partner for a long time, you may suspect that you have been a victim of "ghosting": no message, no response to your contact - nothing. The other person has disappeared.
• Now it can happen that such a "ghost" suddenly reappears - just like a submarine.
• The message is then usually short and completely irrelevant. A short "hey" or "how are you" - usually nothing more comes.

How does submarining come about?

• First of all: Those affected should not assume that the other person suddenly realized how much he or she missed the victim and what deep feelings he has for them.
• Rather, those affected should keep in mind that they have never had much interest in the victim. That's why he or she broke off the contact.
• If there is a sign of life after months, the old dating partner was probably simply bored. When scrolling through the contacts, the victim comes back to mind - as a kind of gap filler until something more exciting arises again.
• The contact may become a little more intense for a short time, but not more substantial. Then it is probed whether something is still possible. Real interest in the victim's person should not be hoped for.
• How someone responds to submarining depends on whether he or she wants to be in touch or not. If genuine interest is not important to the person concerned, he can confidently answer, but he or she should not hope for anything.
• It is probably better not to react at all: the submarine will dive again anyway - and victims should not be misused to fill the gap.

In our series on dating trends, we also explain what lies behind Love Bombing.