Separation with children: how to deal with it
Separating children is a major challenge for many parents. We will therefore give you the best tips for sensible handling in this practical tip.
Separation with children: an overview of the most important tips
When children are involved, careless separation is usually not considered. However, if there is no way to end your relationship or marriage, you should take the following tips into account when dealing with this separation:
- First things first: Show your child the high value of trust and honesty in your family and talk openly and honestly with your offspring about your separation as soon as possible.
- Let your child continue to feel that they can continue to rely on your help, affection and unconditional love.
- In addition, the feel-good factor is the be-all and end-all: Therefore, set up a retreat for your child both in the motherly and in the fatherly four walls with their own room.
- Remember that your little one needs both parents and that neither parent should be replaced.
- So that your child can cope with the breakup, get used to the new life situation and get emotions under control, it should, for example, open up to friends or counselors in discussions.
- However, a separation of the parents can not only mean a deep cut for children: Seek the support of a psychologist in the physical and psychological processing of the end of the marriage or relationship.
Separation with child: These problems can arise
Not every separation goes smoothly. In the next chapter we will show you which problems arise in the course of an unhappy marriage or relationship and how you can deal with them:
- Children often show increasing problems in dealing with the separation: They literally stand between the chairs and believe that despite loyalty to mom and dad, they have to choose one side of the two parents.
- Fears of loss, lack of concentration and poor performance in school as well as abdominal pain and sleep disorders are common difficulties for your offspring.
- Therefore, communicate with your child and assure your son or daughter that he or she is not to blame for the separation of mom and dad. However, your child may react to such a new situation with a lack of understanding.
- Always be aware of your responsibility for your offspring and therefore make clear and binding agreements right from the start.
- Give older children a say in agreements.
- It is imperative to avoid wanting to prohibit social ties and contact with the other parent.
- If your separation cannot go smoothly and reasonably: Consult a psychotherapist and do not confront your children with such conflicts.
- And last but not least: Financial separation can of course also arise in the course of a separation. Then contact the employment office, a lawyer or a family counseling center for financial support.
You can find out what you should know about parent-child alienation in the course of a separation in our next practical tip.